When it comes to movies and guns, there are three basic tiers. We have the movies that do it right and do it accurately. I love movies, and I love movies that show realism with their firearms. I like the gunplay in John Wick, I like the realism in Heat, and I enjoy the realistic tactics in movies like Black Hawk Down.
There is a middle ground where a movie tries to be serious, but the gun handling sucks that is always cringeworthy. I can never get behind crappy gun handling in a movie that’s somewhat serious. Finally, on the far end of the spectrum is the over-the-top, not-so-serious, and totally fun spectrum of gun handling. I also love this tier of action flicks.
Today, we are celebrating this genre of firearm movies, specifically the most over-the-top, ridiculous movie guns that I can’t help but adore. There are lots of fictional guns out there that are over the top, so we are limiting our choices to guns that are real or at least use real guns as their core firearm.
Red Scorpion – Soviet Assault Rifle
Dolph Lundgren stars as Soviet Super Soldier Nikolai because as long as you are some kind of European, you can be a Russian. He’s sent to Africa to put down a rebellion on behalf of the Soviet Union, but then has a change of heart, turns on his Soviet comrades, and joins the Rebels. His gun of choice isn’t some form of AK-47, but it’s a Soviet Assault Rifle, a rather plain name for a rather radical rifle.
Oddly enough, the Soviet Assault Rifle is a mocked-up FN FAL, a weapon used by Western forces to resist communist expansion around the world. It’s not your average FAL. In fact, it has two barrels and borrows the top-loading drum magazine from a Lewis gun. We have a custom stock and pistol grip. Another eye-catching modification is the massive handguard that encloses both barrels.
The Soviet Assault Rifle is absolutely ridiculous. Even in the film, it makes massive holes in targets that don’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s a massive weapon, but Dolph is a massive man. In the 1980s, massive men carried massive guns! It was a rule-of-action flick we’ve since lost.
Beverly Hills Cops 3 – Annihilator 2000
I’m not saying this is the best Beverly Hills Cop movie, but it has the best gun. The Annihilator 2000 is an absolutely absurd weapon that showcases the overindulgence of the early 1990s. What’s the Annihilator 2000? Much like Barbie, it’s everything. The base rifle appears to be a Colt 723 rifle that’s very visible.
The rest of the weapon includes some necessities if you label yourself the Annihilator 2000. This includes a powerful flame thrower and a rocket launcher. Keep in mind it’s being sold in California, not exactly a state known for gun rights. The 90s were a different time!
The Annihilator 2000 isn’t just a weapon. It’s also a cellphone, fax machine, microwave, alarm system, video camera, radio, and even packs night vision! The advertisement in the film gets it right when it states, “Stopping power is a matter of convenience.”
Spawn – A Paired of Dressed Up MACs
The P90 is such a cool gun. It looks like it came from a comic book. It’s great that it’s real, but in 1998, it was likely tough to find, and it was likely even harder to find blanks for it.
What’s an armoer to do? How about you take a MAC series machine pistol and convert it to look like a P90? It sounds odd, but the madmen who oversaw Spawn’s props did just that. The MAC handled blanks well, and 9mm blanks are plenty common.
Comic books always have crazy guns, and the armorers saw the potential of modified MACs. They took the MAC series and turned them into the standard issue weapon of the A-6 agency. They dressed the guns up to make them more futuristic and high-tech, perfect for a comic book movie.
Blade Runner – LAPD 2019 Blaster
Blade Runner isn’t a crazy, over-the-top action movie. In fact, there isn’t that much action at all. It’s what the smart kids call cerebral. The film stars Harrison Ford as Deckard, a man in charge of hunting down rogue replicants. His handgun of choice is out of this world, even if the film takes place in LAPD.
The LAPD 2019 Blaster is a very striking weapon. It’s a retro-futurism weapon that blends the classic look of a revolver with a sci-fi blaster. The base gun is a Charter Arms Bulldog, but mated to the top of the gun is a Steyr Mannlicher .222 Model SL parts. It forms the unique bolt action mechanism on top of the gun.
The gun was spiced up with a few side plates, a fancy grip, and even some LED lights to give it that crazy future vibe. The gun popped up again in Blade Runner 20249m and in video games like Fallout: New Vegas.
The Fifth Element – The ZF1
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg is a visionary. Where we see an average gun, he sees an advanced weapon platform that can do anything. It’s understandable why the Mangalores were so psyched to purchase the ZORG ZF-1 Pod Weapon System. This weapon system incorporates a rifle, a missile launcher, a neat launcher, a flame thrower, an arrow launcher, and even an ice cube system to freeze threats.
The ZF1 even features guide bullet technology because missing your threat is for the underarmed. Sure, it weighs 15 pounds, but it’s worth the squeeze. In real life, the ZF-1 is built around the AKS-74U. That gun throws flame and creates an awesome muzzle flash. Funny enough, a different ZF-1 was built for each of the gun’s functions. One was a rifle, one was a flamethrower, etc.
Invasion USA – The Walther P38 Grenade Launcher
Chuck Norris inspired this article, so he might as well get one entry into this article. Invasion USA is the most Cannon films film ever created. It’s got Chuck Norris resisting an invasion of America. He’s the only former CIA Agent who can get it done!
There are plenty of silly weapons in the movie, but my favorite has to be the insane grenade launchers used by both Chuck Norris and the chief villain. Keep in mind this film has M203 props in it already. For some reason, they decided they needed something a little different. This AR-15 mounted grenade launcher is a semi-auto design.
It doesn’t have a magazine or an ejection port we can see, and functionally, it doesn’t seem like it should work. There is no logic, but in real life, the grenade launchers are just tubes seemingly wrapped around a Walther P-38 handgun.
Deadpool 2 – Cable’s Gun
If you are not a 90’s X-Men fan, you might not have understood why Cable carried such a massive weapon in Deadpool 2. The 1990s X-Men was an over-the-top time period, complete with tons of pouches and massively absurd guns. Cable in Deadpool 2 captured that perfectly. His massive BFG is a crazy combination of weapons and parts that form one insane gun.
The BFG’s base gun is a Kriss Vector fit with an M203 grenade launcher. The gun uses a Tommy gun stock, a Barret muzzle device, and both a variable optic and a red dot. The gun also has a massive light from Fenix on the side and even an AR handguard that attaches between the Vector and the M203.
The gun gives Cable a serious advantage in the film. It has a crazy fast fire rate, and Cable never needs to reload. The grenade launcher isn’t a grenade launcher but some kind of powerful cannon device. It’s an absurd gun that captures Cable perfectly.
Keep It Crazy
We can celebrate Heat, Extraction, and John Wick for their awesome gun handling, but we can also sit back, turn our brains off, and enjoy the absurd, over-the-top stuff. This is our celebration of the insane, but did we miss any? Let us know below!
