As a general rule, “cute” and “gun” are two words I try to never use in the same sentence.
I herewith break that rule.
My first awareness of GOAT Guns was a couple of years ago. My wife and I always try to stop by Midwest Guns in Lyons, Illinois when in Chicagoland. We were shopping there when I heard my wife exclaim, “OMG, this is adorable!”
I turned to see her admiring a miniature AK47. It turned out that Midway had an entire display of these.
Made of cast metal, GOAT Guns are available in many forms. We wound up going with AR15 and 1911A1.
Intricate modern machining allows itty-bitty magazines which release with even itty-bittier release buttons, and hold even more itty-bitty dummy cartridges. With the working slide of the pistol or the working bolt and charge handle of the AR, you can hand cycle them.
Indeed, if you do it sloppily, you can easily cause a malfunction. This I actually did with the mini-.45, much to the amusement of my lovely bride, a confirmed polymer pistol princess who delights in mocking husbands and others who cleave to 1911s.
GOAT Guns — Plenty of Choices
Putting together a WWII or Korean War collection? Supplement one of those 1911s with an M1 Garand and a Thompson submachine gun. AK is your flavor? The various AKs include an AK12 shotgun and an SVD sniper rifle. Something more modern? Consider the MRAD, the MK22, the SIG MCX, or the next one they’re coming out with at this writing, the FN SCAR. And for good measure, there’s the Barrett Light .50, which appropriately sells for…$50. Well, $49.99.
Accessorize, just as you do with your real ones? Scopes, small and large. Red dot sights. Screw-on suppressors. Bipods. Assorted stocks, which by the way are genuine wood on the AKs.
You have spare magazines and lots of ammo for your real ones, right? You can get more of the same for your GOAT versions. (I would advise stocking up on the cartridges, which seem most likely to get lost.)
For the 1911s, there are all manner of grips including gold, the latter resembling the brass grip panels that some of us used to put on our real competition 1911s for added weight to reduce recoil. The 1911s, like some of the other GOAT guns, are also available in assorted colors.
That day in the Midwest store I flashed back to my own much younger years. In the early 1960s, the Marx toy company came out with their Golden Guns series of miniature firearms which fired little round caps. I was in early adolescence and already had my own real handguns including a 1911 Colt .45, but those little Marx pistols were just…cute! I think I bought three: Luger, Single Action Army, and Colt Detective Special. Here’s how they were advertised back then:
Sure wish I’d kept ‘em. On the TV show “Pawn Stars” a set of eight of those Marx miniatures sold for a cool $1,000. I wonder what GOAT Guns will be worth a few decades from now…
If you’ve ever been to a gun show where craftsmen sell miniature handguns for huge prices commensurate with all the work that went into creating them, you’ve noticed there are always crowds around their display. GOAT Guns give you something very close to that for a lot less money.
What are they good for in the here and now? They’re useful for showing non-gun people how firearms work without making them uneasy in the presence of real weapons.
Sitting on a desk or bookshelf, they make a statement about a gun owners’ beliefs. (Not recommended for those who work in non-permissive environments and want to keep their jobs, however.)
Other reasons can be found in customer testimonials on the GOAT Guns website. One reads, “Husband LOVED this! Got this as a 30th birthday gift for my husband who is retired Navy and also impossible to find gifts for at every occasion. He absolutely loved it and couldn’t wait to recreate the mini-version of something he wore daily while on-duty. Looking like this will become an annual birthday gift here on out!” – Stephanie Bramich.
Another: ”This is an actual moving miniature version of the one I used in Vietnam during my LRRP Days and I love the precise way it’s made love the accuracies of your products from a Vet who used them in the war … great products!” -Anthony Roberts.
And they are great for kids in responsible gun-owning households. Our GOAT AR15 and 1911A1 kits are now in the possession of a 12-year-old grandson who has his own Ruger 10-22, and is working on Eagle Scout with a Riflery Merit Badge already garnered. He loves his new GOATs.
For affordable miniature firearms these well-crafted products may indeed, for their genre, live up to their name as the Greatest Of All Time. For more information check out the company’s website at goatguns.com.
So, maybe on some occasions in some ways, “cute” and “guns” can go well together…
