Duke Nukem is a product of the late 1990s and the attitude culture it exemplified. Sure, the character actually came to be in 1991, but it wasn’t until 1996 that we really got the real character. Prior to that, he was largely silent. Duke Nukem is this big grandiose ultra-manly satire of action heroes and video game protagonists. He’s always portrayed as this ultra buff, beer-drinking, cigar-smoking, motorcycle-riding man’s man. He’s also typically a bit of an idiot, immature, and downright silly.
As satire, it works and does portray an extreme version of what we were typically spoon-fed from video game action heroes. They just amped it up to 11 with Duke. Duke has always been a shooter, and he’s occupied side scrollers, top-down shooters, first-person shooters, and third-person shooters during his reign. Admittedly his last release, Duke Nukem Forever, was stuck in development hell for over a decade and wasn’t very good. However, the character is seemingly still beloved for his over-the-top antics.
The Real Guns of Duke Nukem
As you’d imagine, the character has his fair share of guns and gusto. Today we are going to cover Duke’s guns, including the real guns used in games, as well as the more fantastic fictional firearms.
Duke’s M1911
The M1911 is a classic .45 ACP pistol designed by the blessed John Moses Browning for the United States military. It’s quite a beloved and famous gun in real life and occupies the hands of our titular hero.
Duke has two preferred sidearms, with the most famous being Duke’s M1911. Duke is a big fan of golden guns, and his M1911 features a two-tone finish with a gold slide and controls but a black frame with custom Nukem grips. Not to mention some intricate scrollwork. It’s as gaudy and over the top as you’d imagine. Duke’s 1911s often had some form of laser. Old Duke is a big fan of the vis laser on handguns.
The Desert Eagle
For such an over-the-top hero, it’s no surprise the Desert Eagle popped in to play a time or two. The Desert Eagle is famously a big magnum-power pistol that fires cartridges like .357 Magnum, 50 AE, and .44 Magnum. It’s huge, eye-catching, and has screen credits in over six hundred movies.
Duke unsurprisingly uses the Desert Eagle with a gold finish. Like the M1911, it’s often a starting weapon that’s quickly traded for something bigger, meaner, and more capable. In the game, the gun seems underpowered for its design, but who am I to judge? The Desert Eagle fits Duke’s schtick perfectly.
Winchester 1300 Defender
Throughout most Duke Nukem games, his shotgun of choice is a Winchester 1300 Defender. We first saw the gun in Duke Nukem 3D, and it’s been more or less a staple of the series. This specific model is a pistol grip-only version with a Tac-Star-style front pistol grip and a heat shield. The gun has been modeled to eject out of the left-hand side of the gun, meaning it is one of the rare left-hand 1300s.
This weapon is certainly more style than efficiency, but it’s not a bad choice by any means. A stock would most certainly help, but Duke is tough enough that he doesn’t need any stock. The Winchester 1300 Defender is brutally efficient in-game and really helps make it a memorable boomer shooter.
HK MP5Ks
I use the plural of MP5K for a reason. In Duke Nukem 64, a port of the Duke Nukem 3D game, plenty of the guns were swapped. Duke lost his chain gun, but in its place, he got two MP5Ks dual-wielded. This formed a ripper-like weapon that sprayed ammo rapidly and effectively at ultra-close ranges. Is dual wielding efficient? Well, no, but Duke is strong enough to keep two SMGs on target without a problem.
The MP5 is a classic German SMG designed for close combat. It’s extremely famous for its use by special operations, SWAT teams, and counter-terrorism forces. The MP5K is the compact version shrunk down to be extremely concealable. This powerhouse of an SMG is extremely capable and perfect when wielded akimbo.
The Flamethrower
Finally, this one could be argued as a fictitious weapon, but flamethrowers are very real. Throughout the Duke Nukem series, Duke has used numerous fictional flamethrowers that could easily be real. The flamethrower in these games varies a lot, and it’s also a powerful close-range weapon that turns pigcops into pork chops.
In real life, you can own your own flamethrower, so I think it certainly works under Duke Nukem’s real guns.
The Fantasy Guns
The real guns in Duke Nukem games are always fun, but they aren’t the only blasters in Duke’s arsenal. The sci-fi theme of these games lends to a variety of odd, fantasy-filled guns that often add to the over-the-top action.
Shrinker
I’m pretty sure this is self-explanatory. The shrinker shrinks enemies down to nothing, which makes them the perfect size to be stomped. The shrink’s effects last for a little over 10 seconds before the enemy pops back up as a normal-sized bad guy. It’s zany but handy for enemies that can take tons of hits and have high health.
Expander
The Expander is the shrinker but in reverse. Instead of shrinking the enemy, it expands the enemy. You hit them with the Expander, and they get bigger and bigger until they explode into a pile of gore and guts. The explosion can even cause splash damage to nearby enemies.
The Devastator
If you call a weapon the Devastator, I can’t help but mention it. The Devastator is a weapon that basically shoots rockets or gyrojets at a high cyclic rate. It fires fast and is devastating. Oh, it can also be dual-wielded. It’s a handheld, dual-wielded, submachine rocket launcher. It doesn’t get more over the top than that.
Numerous Heavy Machine Gun Style Weapons
Throughout the series, there are numerous heavy machine gun-style weapons. This includes the chaingun cannon, or Ripper chaingun, which lays down three barrels worth of ammo. The laser Gatling gun from the Land of the Babes game gives us a big ass laser to save those babes. In the time-traveling Time to Kill, a real Gatling gun can be wielded. These over-the-top, massive guns are some of the most Duke Nukem guns out there.
Guns, Babes, and Badassery
The very silly Duke Nukem game series was always a favorite. As I get older and recognize the satire, it gets even better. It’s the Spike TV of video games, but unlike Spike TV, it knows it’s a joke. Duke Nukem lends itself well to over-the-top weapons and violent over-the-top action. Maybe we can see Duke make a return. I envision a Duke from the 1990s traveling to 2023 and trying to fit into the modern culture while also saving the world.
Does anyone else out there have fond Duke Nukem memories?
