(No) Whiskey in the Jar: Liquor Bottle Torches

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A Tiki liquor bottle using Paddy's Irish Whiskey

Booze bottle torches — maybe not the first thing on the list of things you need right now, with the weather cooling off and the skeeters away for the foreseeable future, but definitely something that’ll make some of ya sit up and say I gotta get me one of those! Maybe it’s for your own patio, maybe you know the fact that you want one means your buddy will want one too, making it a great gift idea. In this case, it’s Tiki torches, lamps, and other stuff made with whiskey bottles. Rumors that a whiskey bottle tiki torch will burn better or brighter while Metallica whiskey in the jar plays in the background are unsubstantiated. 

Whiskey Lamp with Elijah Craig bottle

Note: we’re talking decoration and atmosphere for relaxin’ here, mind you, not mostly peaceful protests. 

Whiskey bottles wasted as molotov cocktails

That’s just a waste of double-oaked Woodford Reserve right there.

No, it’s far better to preserve that whiskey bottle (and reduce our collective environmental impact) by repurposing (or “upcycling“) it into a liquor bottle tiki torch (or lamp) — and support a small business. That brings us to Southernly Zen

Southernly Zen upcycled liquor bottles

As you can see, the store (mostly on Etsy but apparently on some social platforms elsewhere) offers a variety of options suitable for a variety of tastes. There’s whiskey (including Bourbon, Scotch, Irish, and Rye) enough for a good whiskey bar plus wine bottle Tiki torches, lamps made from different kinds of tequila, some vodka options, and…well, you get the point. 

Find your preferred tiki liquor bottle now.

 

 

Metallica: Whiskey in the Jar

Now, in a nod to the title of this little public service announcement, we give ya some live music from Slane Castle

 

Prefer a more traditional version?

 

There ya go. 

Want to sing along?

Whiskey in the Jar Lyrics

As I was goin’ over
The Cork and Kerry Mountains
I saw Captain Farrell
And his money, he was countin’
I first produced my pistol
And then produced my rapier
I said, “Stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya”
 
I took all of his money
And it was a pretty penny
I took all of his money,
Yeah, and I brought it home to Molly
She swore that she loved me,
No, never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman,
Yeah, for you know she tricked me easy
 
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There’s whiskey in the jar, oh
 
Being drunk and weary
I went to Molly’s chamber
Takin’ Molly with me
But I never knew the danger
For about six or maybe seven,
Yeah, in walked Captain Farrell
I jumped up, fired my pistols
And I shot him with both barrels
 
Yeah, musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, ha, yeah
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There’s whiskey in the jar, oh
Yeah, whiskey, yo, whiskey
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
 
Now some men like a fishin’
But some men like the fowlin’
Some men like to hear,
To hear the cannonball roarin’
Me, I like sleepin’,
‘Specially in my Molly’s chamber
But here I am in prison,
Here I am with a ball and chain, yeah
 
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, heh, heh
Whack for my daddy, oh
Whack for my daddy, oh
There’s whiskey in the jar, oh, yeah
Whiskey in the jar, oh
 
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, hey
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da
Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, yeah
 

Friends don’t – or shouldn’t – let friends waste their whiskey. Or for that matter engage in jackassery on the street.

David Reeder’s Wu Tang name is Lucky Prophet. He is a retired AF veteran, former Peace Officer, and current Tier 2.5 writer-operator. Over the course of his career, he has worked a variety of military and lE billets, served as an Observer-Controller at the National Homeland Security Training Center, a MOUT instructor, and an MTT tracking instructor – all of which sounds much cooler than it really was. Although he only updates his website once in a very great while, he can absolutely be relied upon to post to social media (@reederwrites) at least once a month. -Ish.